Day #18 - Publish a post I'm afraid to publish.
Well, that's easy.
I think I might be a witch.
I know. Scary thought... especially considering the Wicked Witch of the West scared the hell out of me as a child. The witches in Macbeth made me twitch. The face I remember most, the witch that made me cringe with fear... was the old bat from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. (Insert shrug)
And then there is Gena Rowlands who plays Violet Devereaux in The Skeleton Key. That ladies and gentlemen, makes my skin crawl. Not with fear, really. But with a deep, complete and total belief that, maybe... just maybe... there is more to this world than meets the eye.
Finally, there is the witch woman who came to my bed as a very young child for years. I would say up until I was maybe 9 or 10 years old. There she was, the same woman reaching down for me in her shadow cast. I never saw her face. I never heard her voice. But her message was always clear. I belonged "with" her. Obviously, I grew out of her, and her apparition has since ceased. A gone but not forgotten childhood memory.
That was until my daughter woke me up one day. The lady in black reached down to come and get her while she was sleeping... "she wanted me to be 'with' her, but I want to stay 'with' you."
I kindly asked that
she stay away from my #ministarlite, and that if she really needed to be around, she could deal with me directly and that my daughter was off limits to her. We've only had a few issues since, mainly, I think, because I have finally embraced her existence as being something real. A message. Guidance.
A weird thing has happened since this acceptance thing. I don't see her anymore. But I sense her. Like she is 'with' me. Gently pulling me, asking me, showing me... there is more. It's in me, around me and part of me. I am drawn to her.
Mother Moon. Goddess Night.
So what does this have to do with me being a witch? Good question. Since having decided to define my #spriritualpurpose, I have learned to embrace the principles of Tarot. The principles behind this lifestyle and guidance tool comes very natural to me. The elemental makeup of Tarot is a very clean and clear soul code. While learning and delving into all things Tarot, obviously I've come across many new principles, people, ideas and lifestyles. These new introductions include Wiccan and Paganism.
Initial reaction: ((((shudder))))
I am raised Roman Catholic, which means, I was taught that all things pagan and Wiccan... was... is... devil worship.
And now, just wait before you start smashing your brooms at me. Please read the above statement, several times until you understand what I actually wrote, instead of what you think I meant.
"I was
taught that Wiccan... was... is... devil worship."
I NEVER believed it, but I never knew enough to know and ask the right questions. It never occurred to me that someday, the answers would come to me. Who knew? Wiccans don't even believe in the Devil or Hell... this negative and mind controlling concept is actually Christian.
Core principles of value to me ~ before taking foot on this SpiritRoad I find myself currently walking:
Bare feet on plain earth calms me down immediately. It also has the strange ability to get rid of my headaches.
God and I have a better conversation when we spend the day in nature, than an hour spent at Mass.
The Triple Goddess seems the most natural of life cycles... even Mother Mary was a Virgin, Mother, Crone.
I open windows in the morning to let negative energy out, and Spirit in.
I believe in Angels, and I allow them to carry me when I am at my worst.
Everyone around me knows when the full moon is coming, simply by my change in behaviour. I am deeply affected by it's power.
I believe I have a responsibility to Mother Nature, and Mothers of the world. And although they can each be defined individually, they are... we are... one. And each deserve to be protected, respected and cared for.
I believe that the answer to our future lay on the tongue of those people, whose culture and lifestyle face a real and very near extinction.
It hurts my heart to know that 'we' are not learning from our Grandmothers. It hurts my soul that we are not teaching our daughters. We cannot teach what we do not know.
The world will stop turning, and it will be because we refuse to fix the mistakes of our closest ancestors with the lessons of our oldest ancestors.
A sachet of herbs set with the best of intentions, has power.
An offering is acknowledgement that there is more to this world than I. Without the abundance with which this world gives me to use (and by many abuse), I am nothing.
Running tap water drives me crazy. Stop wasting water.
Boiling water from a pot for tea, tastes better than heating it up in a microwave.
Cooking with wooden spoons makes food taste better.
The older the cast iron pot, the better the meal.
Holding the hand of a loved one in complete silence so very intimate, sensual and healing.
I have a responsibility.
Maiden. Mother. Crone.
Student. Teacher. Mentor.
)o(
In love and light, I embrace my fear.
Amanda
